Things i was mistaken about

After Doug died suddenly, I went to a Bereavement Support Group, sought help and advice from other widowers, read many books on grief, and saw a grief counselor. I was trying to figure out what to do and how to cope. There were some things I thought I knew, which turned out not to be true. There is a really good poem about this here - it helped me some of the roughest times.

  • I thought I was strong and could handle just about anything. This brought me to my knees, many times.
  • Then I thought I would not survive the loss and pain. So far, I have. (See surviving the first year)
  • I thought my life was over, and that love would never find its way into my heart again. Then I met someone and chose to open my heart again.
    • I thought all my friends and family would be happy for me when I met someone. Some were not.
  • I thought I could and would stay in our house. Now I'm not so sure. (See Should I stay or should I go now?)
  • I thought that grief was linear; like a wound it would get better every day. I learned it is more like a roller coaster. (See stages of grief.)
  • I thought the sadness had no limit, and that every moment of my life from that day on on would suck. A year and a half later, I find there are more happy times than sad.
  • I thought I would go completely broke. Instead, I was able to make lifestyle and spending changes to adapt,
  • I thought denial would end, and I would come to terms with the fact that Doug is gone. A year and a half later, that hasn't happened yet.




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