A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain.
~ Mildred Witte Stouven
|Doug knew how to have fun - even when working.|
After a significant loss, you may be absolutely miserable. If you were miserable before the loss, that misery may be exacerbated. If you were happy before the loss, you are probably more resilient
"Scientists believe that 50% of our happiness is controlled by our genes, which is known as the happiness set point. Meanwhile, just 10% is based on the circumstances of our lives: status, money, career and the objects we surround ourselves with. The remaining 40% is believed to be subject to intentional behavior and choices." (Forbes, Top Seven Ways To C'Mon Get Happy, 02/10/2012, based on the documentary "Happy.")
It is possible to get your happy back. Leading scientists in happiness research recommend the following. These approaches have definitely helped me.
I'm not talking about a pollyanna approach where you force yourself to think only happy thoughts even though your heart is broken. The only way out of grief is through it. Processing grief will involve periods of sadness, anxiety or anger. However, you don't want to get stuck there. In the interim, be patient and kind with yourself.
Some people unconsciously feel that experiencing happiness is a kind of betrayal of the person who lost their life. The opposite is more likely. If the person you lost cared about you as much as you cared about them, they would probably want you to be happy again someday. No amount of misery will bring them back.
©2010. Designed by Chimalis LLC.
Please request permission before re-publishing content from this website, except for content on the quotes/poems page. This website is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The author shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage or disruption caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by any information contained on this website.