Continued from previous blog (June 2013 - December 2015)
"Do you now feel like everything happens for a reason?
No, and this is probably my least favorite question. It actually makes
my skin crawl whenever somebody asks this one. It’s as though they are
saying, maybe your husband died so that you could meet this new man and
live happily ever after. Here’s the thing. And let me say this as
carefully as possible. I was living happily ever after before. I loved
Craig. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together, have
babies, and eventually sit on our rockers on the front porch, muttering
about the kids these days. Then he died. In a horrible, tragic, unlucky
collision. Wrong place at just the wrong moment. I don’t believe it was
for a reason or his time to go or any of those things. Then, in a
terrible and miserable time of my life, I was lucky enough to find a
wonderful man who made me laugh and listened patiently to all my crazy
ranting. From this I have surmised that sometimes bad things just
happen. For no reason. And there is nothing you can do about it. Just
because something good eventually follows does not mean that one leads
to the other. The line of thought that my first husband’s death was
simply for the sake of my new relationship is a very dangerous line of
thought – one that diminishes my first husband’s life and our
relationship. Something I’d never be down with."
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